In August I wrote a blog about how frustrated I was with the court process in figuring out a parenting plan between my ex and I. I went to court in June thinking we would be back in court by July...that didn't happen and it's just been one hurdle after another ever since. Reminder...we are talking about a current 50/50 split custody of a 4 year old; which would be hard on a 4 year old even if her parents were the best of friends!! But those kind of parents don't fill their childs head with thoughts of how their mom must be dating and that that person is more important to mom than she is...(I'd like to know where this "date," is and is he good looking??? And of course no one will EVER be more important to me than my child!!!)
After my ex completed his court recommended parenting assessment on October 16th, he called me to tell me how mad he was that it was going to cost him $400. I had already payed the portion for my assessment and agreed that it was costly, but I agreed with the court that it was necessary. I told him that he was responsible for paying his portion.
In November, my lawyer requested that my portion of the assessment be sent to us so we could get the ball rolling on changing the parenting plan to something other than 50/50. We were informed that the assessor does not think that the court will use only half of the assessment and they need to see both sides of it. So I sat and waited for him to pay his portion of it so it would be released. I knew we could take him to court and demand for him to pay it, but what good would that do? Who knows when he would have paid it??
So about two weeks ago, I requested a letter be sent offering to pay the fee for him for now, with agreement that he would pay me back. We didn't hear anything so today I finally called and asked him if that would be ok. His words were....Laura I never had any intention of paying my portion, so you can go ahead and pay it, but I'm not paying you back....I argued that the court had ordered him to do it and his reply was that the court had told him to complete the assessment, not pay for it. Apparently I assumed wrongly in thinking that he would think he was responsible for the bill and pay it.
So I'll pay the fee for the assessment and pray that it shows the true picture of the situation. It just seems that he gets away with his behavior no matter what.
I had a rough time concentrating after that conversation today. THEN I received my credit card bill in the mail when I got home. He had called over Christmas Break asking to borrow money because his truck was broken down. I have the credit card with the higher limit because it was in my name before we got married. I still don't know why, but I said yes. But only if he would write me an email detailing how he would pay me back; AND if he promised to get his stuff out of the house by the end of December. He agreed, and I gave him the number to pay it. I opened up the statement today and he charged 200$ over the amount we agreed on. The worst part about it? I never received the email from him.
I'm beyond the ability to clearly portray how incredibly frustrated I am! I JUST want to move on with my life and have a stable schedule for Bella when she starts kindergarten in the fall..At this rate we'll still be battling it out, and he'll never be held accountable for even his CURRENT actions!!!!
3 comments:
Oh Laura... I wish I had the words to help you and make things better... and I wish by saying it's in God's hands he'll make it alright would help... but sometimes even that might not help. I'm not saying God isn't gonna do whats right, but when you are at your weakest, even the strongest person in the world... well you feel like he can't even fix it. And BOY how I wish this could get fixed for you.
Just know that you have a major support system around you and you can ALWAYS turn to us. I am here for you no matter what and I wish I lived closer to you so I could be a shoulder!!!
xoxo Jamie
Ah man Laura. I'm sorry. You are too nice.. and he takes advantage of that. That is pretty arrogant of him to act that way, and bal-sy. I don't think if I was trying to get custody of my child, that I wouldn't follow through with what the court has ordered. Just another strike against him showing that he's in for the game, not what's best for Bella.
The court system is extremely flawed, and it bothers me so much that what seems so simple, and in the best interest of a child, is determined by someone who hardly has the knowledge of what really goes on..
I get so frustrated with this stuff I can hardly see straight. I'm just praying that God will provide some justice in here somewhere. And that the forces controlling Tim will be overcome by the love of Christ. The battle he's in is bigger & uglier than what we can see.
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